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"If, as Herod, we fill our lives with things, and again with things; if we consider ourselves so unimportant that we must fill every moment of our lives with action, when will we have the time to make the long, slow journey across the desert as did the Magi? ... For each one of us, there is a desert to travel. A star to discover. And a being within ourselves to bring to life."
~ Author Unknown
I think we've gone from thinking big to thinking small, and that's not such a bad thing.
As a couple, we have certainly paid more attention to the basics during this economic challenge; paying the bills more with cash instead of cards, looking for ways to shave dollars off our lifestyle wherever we can, treasuring our small (1,740 square foot) house with its attendant reasonable mortgage.
There's a comfort to taking life in small bites right now, a reduction of anxiety that comes with exerting control over what we can -- our house, our budget, our relationship -- when so much of the world is in craziness and hard times.
It's a bit like walking up a steep hill in the dark with a dim flashlight; you slow down and place your feet very carefully.
Our house was built in the fifties. Most of the houses in this area were also built in that era, and
are about the same size as ours. Houses were smaller then because they had to be affordable. No McMansions, no credit cards, not many expensive toys and no internet - far fewer ways to get into debt easily. You qualified only for the mortgage you really could afford, and fancy cars were for people who really had a lot of money.
Upside-down was not about mortgages, it was about pineapple (upside-down) cakes and how children play.
We recently spent a week at a cozy mountain condo in the Blue Ridge mountains. We went because we were totally run out of energy and needed the rest, but once we perked up a bit, we holed up for two whole days of the vacation to sit down and look at our lives from top to bottom and make some goals and plans.
We sat there with the rain pounding down outside, in front of a warm fire, putting together a guiding document for ourselves to take back into the world. It is our 4-page personal strategic plan, and it covers our lives individually and our lives together. It makes sense of what we are working for, living for, hoping for, and maps out paths of fulfillment for each goal.
Not everything in it are small. Some of our goals are big, and some of the rewards we give ourselves are big (new 'used' cars this year!), but they come from a context of smaller, more careful steps in such uncertain times.
We look at the plan, talk about it, and measure ourselves against it weekly during our Saturday night 'Date Night'.
We have been through so much in the last two years. Two lost jobs for Betsy, three major surgeries for me, all with resulting financial pain.
Yet at the end of the day, when I snuggle up to my wonderful, courageous, loving wife, in our small, cozy house in the woods, life is very, very good, and it doesn't have to be big.
We're here. We've got plans. We take life in small bites and cherish the flavors.
- The Acolyte
